52: Jacob Sokol on Thoughts and Self-Awareness, Confidence from Action, and Figuring Things Out
Jacob Sokol was climbing the corporate ladder at his job as a computer technician when he he realized there was a deep void in his life. His life was filled with the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. He didn’t trust his own happiness. He knew something had to change. So he took a 5 week trip to Europe. That is when he decided to embark on a quest to create his ideal life. In this episode, find out about Jacob’s beginnings, his quest to help people create their ideal lives, and also see what makes him tick.
Here are three things you can learn from Jacob:
You are not your thoughtsWe like to listen to the thoughts in our head. After all, they are all we know. The problem is, these thoughts often lead us astray. We let them control what we do, and how we think.
One of the biggest lessons Jacob learned on his trip to Europe was, he was not his thoughts. Although we all inherently know this, there’s a difference between hearing it and experiencing it. Jacob’s trip showed him the difference between the two.
What he discovered was, we are creatures of pattern, habit, and ritual. Since our thoughts are just patterns. if we can change our patterns, we can change ourselves.
“Suddenly I realized my thoughts are just patterns. If I can change my thoughts, that means I can change my life. And if I can change my life then I can create a life that is amazing.”
By changing his thought patterns, Jacob was able to build the life he wanted to live. He no longer had to live the role society told him to live. He was no longer trapped in the consumer cycle. He realized there was a life he could create for himself.
Confidence comes from actionToo many of us believe we must be confident in order to take action. Jacob believes the opposite is true. He believes clarity comes from confidence. “It’s when we take action, then we become clear and confident. So clarity and confidence are not prerequisites, they’re actually results of action.”
The problem most of us have is, we wait for that moment when we are confident enough to take action, so we never take it. We wait and wait, and that confidence never comes.
Jacob believes confidence only comes as a result of taking action. “Confidence comes as a result of knowing you can handle something. You gotta try something a couple of times until you get better at it and competence leads to confidence… You don’t get competent unless you actually go do something and try it.”
Instead of waiting for confidence to come to us, we must be proactive and seize it for ourselves. We must be willing to fail and suck. We must do things for ourselves, and gain confidence by doing them.
If you want something enough, you’ll figure out how to do itOne of the more interesting responses from Jacob came when I asked him how people can change the environment and people in their lives. His response surprised me with its beauty and simplicity.
“Any time someone asks how to, it’s because they don’t really understand the principle. So the principle here is… if you want it enough, you’ll figure out how to do it.”
I think he’s right. Although how-to’s can be helpful. They are just one person’s take on solving a problem. If you really want to solve a problem, you have to do it for yourself.
Jacob believes this comes from a place of instant gratification. “That’s kind of what people often times want. It’s the instant gratification of them wanting to be told what to do, instead of owning within themselves that they are a creator of life and can go out there and do and create based on what’s within them versus looking for the external to tell them.”
We need to stop looking for someone else to give us all the answers. We need to understand the principle first, and so we can figure it out for ourselves.
“If you understand the principle of something, then there’s a thousand ways you can go out there and do it.”
